hello , am i on?

Ok , this is my first time doing this. feels weird. or odd. how bout oddly weird.?
Anyway this is my first post and I'm lost. the mind is empty. well let me start off by telling a little bit about myself. I'm a loser and that's fine. we are all losers in one form or another. some of us are followers. Followers are losers cause they can't feel comfortable doing things on their own. people on t.v. are losers. their on the tube cause they want attention and praise. a good living is nice but really , they want praise. I'm a loser cause i could do so much more with what i have and i don't. but I'm happy with what I'm doing and you at this point would be saying "what are you doing"?. well i take care of my father i wait on him , help him with showers , that kind of thing. but i could be doing more with my life but i know that if i go and get a job , i don't want to take care of my father and i know that my family would want me to do both and i don't want to do both. one or the other. I'm not feeling sorry for my self , just telling the situation i am in. I'm not being stopped by anyone , i am a free person , can do what i want. i just don't know what that is.